Just Say No

Today the Welsh government launched a campaign to stop people smoking in cars in which children are also travelling. This makes complete sense - children should not be exposed to cigarettes in smoky cars - or "hot boxes" - and hopefully most responsible parents realise this.

The Welsh Government will consider a complete ban depending on the campaign's success in lowering the number of smokers in the country. But a ban of this kind would be difficult to enforce and so less of a deterrent; using a mobile when driving has been banned in the UK since 2003, yet how many people do you still see at the wheel engrossed in conversation on their phones?

Simon Clark, director of the brilliantly-named tobacco lobby group Forest - Freedom Organisation for the Right to Enjoy Smoking Tobacco - said he supported the campaign, but added, "I think it's outrageous at the way they're treating smokers considering there are 10m smokers throughout the United Kingdom, who contribute a massive amount to tobacco taxation - over £10bn a year."

The Forest website is superb: the group describes itself as the 'Voice and friend of the smoker' (albeit a husky, phlegmy voice, followed by hacking cough) and the pages are full of photos of supporters all enjoying a quick fag.

Unfortunately I am a bit obsessed with smoking; you see, I'm trying to quit. And it seems that absolutely everywhere I turn smoking or quitting smoking are there. The government has recently run TV adverts for free 'Quit Kits', which I did consider, before realising that nothing would be included in them to actually help me quit, except leaflets saying, "Go on - you can do it!" like an overzealous dad on sports' day, leaflets which I would've probably ended up trying to smoke anyway, upon running out of Rizla.

Seemingly everyone is anti-smoking too, which is obviously a good thing, especially when you're trying to quit - though these people don't tell you about the side effects. Sure, I feel a lot better for cutting down, but I didn't expect the thumping headaches, dry throat and constipation. I've reached points where instead of wanting a cigarette to suppress my crushing nicotine cravings, I've wanted one just to help me go to the toilet. I feel very much like my cat when it snows; she can't go outside and go and has to sit around gurning.

Although it hasn't been as difficult as I thought to cut down: I have found it is as easy to say no to a cigarette as it is to say yes. I've been steadily breaking the routine of smoking since Christmas. Last week I hit an all time high and didn't smoke Sunday through to Friday night, when I ruined it all by going out for a drink and lighting up. I knew I would smoke when drinking, and so having survived a few beers early on without sparking up, I was on edge, delaying the inevitable. I did feel relieved when I had a cigarette, and afterwards felt guilty, but I always knew that the true test would come when drinking, and this is the reason I can't say I've truly quit. (Status update: no cigarettes since Friday night.)

In December I returned from an eight-month adventure around Europe and North Africa with my girlfriend, in a VW campervan. Having gone from being outside everyday for eight months to being stuck inside with the central heating on - I've gone from being a wild beast to a caged bird - I have wondered whether actually this is the reason for my dry throat and headaches, this, coupled with blankly staring at my laptop screen for hours on end. This wouldn't explain my constipation though - it could be my diet, although that normally has the opposite effect.

Whilst we were away my girlfriend and I smoked like Dot Cotton and I decided to quit. This was partly because I have smoked for ten years, but mainly because I wanted my mum to quit and always felt a hypocrite for complaining about her smoking.

My girlfriend Shannon also said she'd quit with me - and hasn't! - so now I am quitting, I can complain to Shannon and my mum about quitting and really get on their wicks. And I can tell you, there is no one more self-righteous and preachy than an ex-smoker!